Pass it forward

Image: S is for Superman by Xurble

Sounds far fetched, doesn’t it? But like every other story in this blog, it is absolutely true.

I’d like to introduce you to Heroic Stories; let’s see what they have to say about themselves:

As a bonus, subscribing is free, and will deliver stories to your inbox on a regular basis. The current story (12 February ‘08) is particularly fitting to this blog, as it is a Pass it Forward story! The story starts with the protagonist observing a humble family in a freeway on an old pickup truck loaded with what appears to be their entire belongings: Mattresses; toys; boxes full of clothes. As a heavy storm approaches, this person observes an old lady rush into a convenience store, come out with a large sheet of plastic, and motion the wife to help her cover the back of the truck with the heavy plastic sheeting. The story finishes with this beautiful line: I rolled down my window as the little old lady and the young mother emerged to meet at the rear of the pick-up. And I heard the wizened (and soaking wet) little old lady say, “Don’t thank me, Just Pas It On when you have the opportunity.” (The full story is right now in the archives – click here and look for ‘Rainstorm’)

Yesterday (7 Feb ‘08), the Pittsburgh Post Gazette started reporting on Random Acts of Kindness (link). They even encourage their readership to submit more stories by sending an email to page2@post-gazette.com.

The first story they share is touching, as it shows how a seemingly small act of kindness can change someone’s life:

On Nov. 15 of last year, I was leaving South Hills Village mall when I lost my footing on a curb. I fell and hit my head, hard.

I was lucky to have two strangers stop to help me. Little did I know just how fortunate I would turn out to be.

The man and the woman firmly ignored my request to let me just get up and proceed to the T station. They knew that I needed immediate medical attention.

The woman parked her SUV in a way that shielded me from traffic and passers-by, and covered me with a wrap so that I would stay warm. The man called 911 and acted on its instructions not to let me move.

They both stayed with me until the ambulance arrived.

At UPMC Presbyterian, I was found to have bleeding on my brain. Emergency surgery was performed.

If those two people had let me go up and go on my way, I would not be here to write this letter.

I didn’t get your names. Wherever you are, let me say to you, with no exaggeration:

Thank you for saving my life.

– PAULETTE DOBROVOLSKIS, South Side

I hope next time you see someone having a bad fall, you will feel inspired to help them instead of laughing at them, as many of us do these days.

If you’ve been following the various Reflections made on this web site, you probably think that our aim is to inspire people to give (in the form of Random Acts of Kindness, or RAKs) all the time.

You would be be mistaken.

Our aim is to encourage a world where everyone does RAKs on a daily (ideally) or a weekly basis.The small distinction in these 2 descriptions is that if everyone is doing RAKs, it is likely that everyone will also be the recipient of at least some.

In order to have a fulfilling life, your giving & receiving must be in balance. Doreen Virtue knew this and included a card to this effect in her set of Oracle cards , “Daily guidance from your angels“. According to this card, “The entire Universe operates in cycles similar to your inhalations and exhalations. When you only exhale (give) or only inhale (receive), you become out of rythm with the universe. For optimal health, energy and replenishment, balance each inhalation in your life with an exhalation”.

Her concept is not new or unique. Stephen Post has been doing research for quite some time at the University of Cleveland in Ohio that proves that ‘being good’ leads to longer, healthier, and happier lives. He has documented the results of this research in his book “Why good things happen to good people”, and was interviewed by Rachel Kohn in ABC Radio National’s The Spirit of Things. There is a very interesting excerpt from this interview (underline is mine) that I transcribe below :

Rachael Kohn: Well let’s talk about giving. Is there a kind of optimum measure of giving?

Stephen Post: An optimum measure.

Rachael Kohn: Can you overdo it?

Stephen Post: Yes. In fact I want to make that point very clear. In the studies that are presented in the book, many of the researchers point out that when we are overwhelmed by giving, for example, someone who is involved in care-giving in an intense way, in fact being a person of kindness and goodness can be counter-productive. People do suffer from increased stress and stress-related illness when they are overwhelmed and overburdened.

So it’s very important to recognise that there has to be balance in people’s lives, there’s no one formula, no one recipe, everybody’s different, everybody has different strengths and limits. But in general, so long as people are not overwhelmed, there is something in the very process of giving itself that is beneficial.

As Stephen points out, if you burden yourself with the responsibility of giving, it can lead to stress-related problems. This stress can also have unintended consequences, the most dramatic of which would be to influence you directly to stop the very act of giving.

The problem with an imbalanced giving & receiving equation is that it can lead to negative & destructive emotions. Too much giving can make you feel that others’ are not grateful or fair to you, and that The Universe or People are taking advantage of you. Too much receiving, on the other hand, will lead you to feeling that you are taking advantage of others and being unfair.

Our advise: Make sure you aim for balance in your giving and receiving. If you feel you are receiving too much, start giving now; better yet, use one of our cards to give to others, and encourage them to Pass it Forward. Or if you are giving too much, find ways to recognise and appreciate what you receive. That is almost guaranteed to encourage others to make you the recipient of RAKS. If that does not work, simply make sure that you are not overburdening yourself with the responsibility of giving.

And remember: It’s been proven that doing good deeds for others will lead to longer, healthier, and happier lives. So get started today: Improve your life by doing some Random Acts of Kindness now!

Who said angels don’t live amongst us? There is a potential angel deep within each one of us. The recipe is quite simpls: Have some fun. Choose your attitude. Make someone’s day. Pass it forward.

It really is within your hands. Bring your angel within to live amongst us; and make the world a better place, one Random Act of Kindnesss at a time.

This year, I received a hamper from a friend as a Christmas present. I loved the gift, because I didn’t really need the food, and it gave me a wonderful opportunity to Pass it forward. These are some ideas of what you could do with it:

• Give it to the cleaners / security guards / waitresses of your workplace / favourite coffee shop
• Open it up and give every item as a small present to a stranger on the street. Make sure you add a Christmas card (and if you’re daring, a PIF card)
• Prove to yourself you can be kind to those you don’t like by giving it to an unlikeable colleague or acquaintance
• Walk a street in your town where homeless people often stroll or stay asking for charity; open the hamper, and start offering ‘one thing of your choice’ to every homeless person you come across
• Go to the local nursing home and leave as a surprise present to the resident who never gets visited by anyone
• Visit your church (or preferred charity) and offer it for a fund-raising raffle
• Give it to your Mum

Buddha once said:

The thought manifests as the word;
The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into a habit;
And habit hardens into character;
So watch the thought and its’ ways with care,
and let it spring from love borne out of concern for all beings…
As the shadow follows the body,
as we think so we become.

You see, thoughts are quite powerful things. On that basis, I can argue you just received a gift – by inviting you to have a holiday season full of joy, I planted the seed for a little more happiness in your life over the coming month.

The question now is: what present are you giving your acquaintances for Christmas? How would you like to give them something that can transform their life? Something that won’t cost you a dime?

This is what you need to do:

1. Choose a good deed to carry out today. (If you want ideas, check the Links section or the Ideas page)
2. Write about it : Tell us what you did, when, and how it made someone’s day. Write this on both a piece of paper and on an email to our address (see top-right corner)
3. Download a copy of the ‘PIF CARD’, print it, and glue back and front together
4. Choose a unique PIF identification name for the deed that started it all (I am personally choosing two initials to show it originated in Australia, and then a sequential number – I am up to “AU-00100″)
5. Write the PIF-ID on the card.
6. Put the card and the description of the deed on an envelope.
7. Give the envelope as a gift, and encourage your acquaintance to ‘Pass it forward’

Remember those pesky chain letters of the ’80s that evolved into chain emails? You will be starting one of those, with a difference: Rather than wasting postage and paper, you will be encouraging others to make someone’s day. At least a few of those you touch with your kindness will follow your example.

And someone else will be very, very happy that you did it. They will be the happy recipients of a Random Act of Kindness.

Wishing you a very Joyous Holiday season, and a peaceful and fulfilling 2008.