If you’ve been following the various Reflections made on this web site, you probably think that our aim is to inspire people to give (in the form of Random Acts of Kindness, or RAKs) all the time.
You would be be mistaken.
Our aim is to encourage a world where everyone does RAKs on a daily (ideally) or a weekly basis.The small distinction in these 2 descriptions is that if everyone is doing RAKs, it is likely that everyone will also be the recipient of at least some.
In order to have a fulfilling life, your giving & receiving must be in balance. Doreen Virtue knew this and included a card to this effect in her set of Oracle cards , “Daily guidance from your angels“. According to this card, “The entire Universe operates in cycles similar to your inhalations and exhalations. When you only exhale (give) or only inhale (receive), you become out of rythm with the universe. For optimal health, energy and replenishment, balance each inhalation in your life with an exhalation”.
Her concept is not new or unique. Stephen Post has been doing research for quite some time at the University of Cleveland in Ohio that proves that ‘being good’ leads to longer, healthier, and happier lives. He has documented the results of this research in his book “Why good things happen to good people”
, and was interviewed by Rachel Kohn in ABC Radio National’s The Spirit of Things. There is a very interesting excerpt from this interview (underline is mine) that I transcribe below :
Rachael Kohn: Well let’s talk about giving. Is there a kind of optimum measure of giving?
Stephen Post: An optimum measure.
Rachael Kohn: Can you overdo it?
Stephen Post: Yes. In fact I want to make that point very clear. In the studies that are presented in the book, many of the researchers point out that when we are overwhelmed by giving, for example, someone who is involved in care-giving in an intense way, in fact being a person of kindness and goodness can be counter-productive. People do suffer from increased stress and stress-related illness when they are overwhelmed and overburdened.
So it’s very important to recognise that there has to be balance in people’s lives, there’s no one formula, no one recipe, everybody’s different, everybody has different strengths and limits. But in general, so long as people are not overwhelmed, there is something in the very process of giving itself that is beneficial.
As Stephen points out, if you burden yourself with the responsibility of giving, it can lead to stress-related problems. This stress can also have unintended consequences, the most dramatic of which would be to influence you directly to stop the very act of giving.
The problem with an imbalanced giving & receiving equation is that it can lead to negative & destructive emotions. Too much giving can make you feel that others’ are not grateful or fair to you, and that The Universe or People are taking advantage of you. Too much receiving, on the other hand, will lead you to feeling that you are taking advantage of others and being unfair.
Our advise: Make sure you aim for balance in your giving and receiving. If you feel you are receiving too much, start giving now; better yet, use one of our cards to give to others, and encourage them to Pass it Forward. Or if you are giving too much, find ways to recognise and appreciate what you receive. That is almost guaranteed to encourage others to make you the recipient of RAKS. If that does not work, simply make sure that you are not overburdening yourself with the responsibility of giving.
And remember: It’s been proven that doing good deeds for others will lead to longer, healthier, and happier lives. So get started today: Improve your life by doing some Random Acts of Kindness now!
